In the Begining...

So if you are going to "follow" my blog, or even pop in and read from time to time you have to know one thing, I am not perfect! I write such a statement more as a reminder to myself but it helps if we're on the same page. ;) I figured my first post should be more of an introduction so you have a better idea of where I am coming from.

There is a lot that feeds into who I am, the way I think and my belief system. I am passionate about many things but have a few Loves. My first love is the Lord Almighty. Although, I believe He is who I neglect the most. Next is my husband, my knight and shining armor, the best part of me. We don't have a perfect marriage, but we truly love and adore each other! Then there are my incredible children! All four of them are amazing blessings who are the reasons why I get up and "do this" every morning. We get a lot of time in together as I am a homeschooling mom. (Getting to this point is a story and a half!) Next would be my friends and family. Those close to me add flavor, texture and meaning to my life! I don't take friendships lightly and call myself blessed to have people who don't have to care about me, care about me! Lastly, then there was music. Oh I could blog and blog about music! I feel music. Music has been my saving grace through so many situations! I love all genres, can't just listen to one and I have a song for every emotion, every milestone, every tragedy and every moment of joy!

So I know I have painted a pretty squeaky clean picture, a married mother of four who is extremely religious, homeschools and listens to music! It all comes together pretty nicely doesn't it? Well, I have to say that although I am truly blessed by all of the good God has brought into my life, I am still trudging through a lot of yuck! Each and every day is a struggle for me. I will give all of the credit to a longtime companion of mine, Depression and her sidekick Anxiety. As most of us are, I am a mosaic of tiny pieces of life! All coming together forming the me I am today. My current season of life is overshadowed by childhood, teen and adult trauma, poor choices and the absence of self love. I have not struggled with drug or alcohol addiction, but I have loved and lossed many who have. I was a teen mom, and spent many years as a single mother. My eldest had quite the fight with a severe form of asthma throughout early childhood which required lots of hospital visits and medications. My youngest was diagnosed with Sickle Cell Disease when he was a month old which was devastating to learn. I am once divorced and haunted by the affects of a violent marriage. Before that, my young adult life was consumed with various unhealthy and abusive friendships and relationships. I have had a love hate relationship with the Lord throughout my life. Religion has been an area of great sorrow and confusion for me. That is why I have to clarify that I have faith, but I am not religious. Folks, the list goes on and on!

My point for sharing all of this is to give you a foundation of what to expect when it comes to reading my blog. I want you to know what has helped to form my thoughts and opinions. I want those who choose to read my entries to get a feel for who I am. That I place no judgement on others, as I have many shortcomings of my own. I am an open and honest person and I hope that will be of comfort to you. So brace yourselves, this could be quite a journalistic ride!